My take on food fibs

This week, I spotted a story in a local Scottish newspaper on a recent survey by pesto manufacturers, Sacla, into the lies parents tell children about their food. Apparently, more than half of Scottish mums surveyed admitted to being economical with the facts at mealtimes, often in a bid to get their children to eat ‘better’.

The favourite stretch of the truth was that ‘carrots make you see in the dark’ (I had to google this one as I thought carrots DID improve your eyesight) followed by ‘this will make you big and strong’ and ‘eating crusts will make your hair curly’. As a child, I genuinely thought my super curly hair was a result of all my crust eating, so this was a familiar one to me!

The article caught my eye because I am very interested in the ways parents respond to picky eating and how those responses may affect children’s relationship with food. It struck me that the percentage of parents admitting to lying in order to incentivise children to eat was so high that we can call this behaviour a cultural norm, assuming Scottish parents are not the only ones calling all meat ‘chicken’ and hiding vegetables in a sauce then claiming it’s just tomato.

I understand that challenging food lies may be controversial… after all, it seems harmless enough, and why tell a child that their pork is not in fact chicken, if that will mean they won’t eat any of it?

For me the answer comes down to one word -a very important word in relation to food and feeding – TRUST.

Why we need to build (not break) food trust

Being an adult responsible for feeding a child puts us in a position of power. We know things the child doesn’t; we have prepared the food; we are bigger and stronger and they look up to us. It is our job to use this power well by being honest and respectful of children by giving them information they can rely on.

If a child feels that they cannot trust you because you have lied about their food, this will make them more anxious about what is on their plate and it will erode eating confidence. A positive feeding relationship is built on mutual trust which can take years to build and a minute to knock down.

If a child feels that they cannot trust the food that is in front of them – you said it was just tomatoes in the sauce but they’ve found a piece of carrot in there – this will make them more cautious and it will make them cling more forcefully to accepted foods which they can easily identify, like crackers or potato crisps (chips).

The difference between being creative and being dishonest

I’m not saying you shouldn’t ever use creative ways of describing food to make it less intimidating for children. For example, when my youngest went through a neophobic phase we had ‘orange mash’ which was mashed potato mixed with a little sweet potato. I served this because she was comfortable with mashed potato and I knew ‘orange mash’ would help her feel confident with sweet potato too. However, when she asked what was in ‘orange mash’ I gave her an honest answer. I also got her to help me make it a couple of times so she could see exactly what went into it.

This transparency actually made it easier for her to eat it because she had handled the sweet potatoes and knew exactly what she was tasting. If a child gets told one thing but perceives another, this can make them feel very confused and anxious. It is essential for them to be able to trust the information they get from their senses.

Taking the long view

Telling lies about food may increase consumption in the short term but if you prioritise your child’s long term relationship with food by making sure they can always rely on what you tell them about it, ultimately you are doing something really important.

If you have been in the habit of using food fibs as a way to encourage eating, don’t feel bad – as we’ve seen, this is very normal. Maybe your parents told you the same things you are telling your child. How we were raised has a powerful influence over how we parent.

If you are reading this and feeling that you are open to making a change, this article (about three key mindset shifts for parents of picky eaters) will give you more information about working on long term eating goals and understanding your feeding role.

We are not just responsible for providing our children with food to nourish them, we are also responsible for providing them with information they can trust.