Are you worrying about your child’s ‘picky eating’?

Usually, children’s eating anxiety is my main focus, but today, the spotlight is on you: I wanted to share a few thoughts about parents’ anxiety.

You may be so fixed on your child’s worries about food, that you sideline your own anxious feelings about their ‘picky’ eating. Or you may have been anxious about their eating for so long that you don’t notice how you are feeling any more; it has become normal to you. Perhaps you are thinking “Of course I am anxious! Does it really matter?” Yes, it does matter. It matters for you and it matters for your child.

 

You

If you are worrying about something long term, this takes its toll. Anxiety is very draining. It’s takes energy and it takes head-space. For some parents, worrying about their child’s relationship with food can impact sleep and even their couple relationship. This is not okay. You may be feeding your child several times a day and if every meal and snack is filled with dread and tension, this is just so hard.

Whether your child’s eating issues are at the milder end of the spectrum, or complex and severe, your self care is very important.  And this is not just about your sanity; the more you can keep yourself resilient and relaxed, the better you will be able to support your child.

 

Your child

If you are very anxious about your child’s eating, this can really affect how you parent in relation to food. It is incredibly hard not to use pressure when you are so desperate for them to eat more or to try new things. What feeding experts and researchers have known for a while now, is that applying pressure makes things worse.

Children are very tuned into our emotional state – even if they can’t find words for it or are not consciously aware of the feelings in the room, they are usually very sensitive to them nonetheless. And if children sense that we are anxious (or angry, or frustrated, or sad) in response to their eating behaviours, this may increase the very mealtime stress that is causing the negative feelings in the first place.

 

What to do

First, let yourself off the hook and try to focus on all the great parenting that you do. All the hours of patience, all the moments where you found that last shred of energy in order to meet your child’s needs.

Secondly, find some kindred spirits – my Facebook group is a good place to start – so that you can feel less alone and more supported.

Thirdly, there are some really practical steps you can take in order to genuinely feel less anxious about your child’s eating. This is a lot about establishing whether your worries are valid, as well as gaining a better understanding of what is behind your child’s eating behaviours.

Every child is different and every family will be at a different place on their journey. So the tangible steps you need to take will be different from the next person’s. I have created a simple tool to help you figure out which SINGLE action you can take – based on your current situation – to move things forward. There may be several action points which speak to you but my tool will help you figure out where to start.

At the moment, I’m giving this away to all my newsletter subscribers (I share links to blog posts, information about the latest feeding research,  tips and resources like this every week). If you already receive my newsletter, you will have been emailed a link to my ‘first step’ tool already.

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I hope you find it really useful.